Life reconsidered

My life is good
I shouldn't be moany
and yet
I'm having my life reconsidered
What is, afterall, the most important?
Every time when I'm back in this piece of land where
time flows slowly
and space is no longer a luxury
where maximization is not an issue
it becomes a bitter reminder of a life I want to lead
where I don't have to push everything to extremes
for the "so-called" best
I've long past the age when I was ambitious
not only that I don't have the energy but
more so that I do not feel the need to be
why don't we admit that we're small and humble beings
but challenge the highest
why do we have to stretch each other to such an extent
which we're not suppose to be
why is it a must to be tough
though I know life does get tougher as we move on
I just want to be a normal person,
happy and content
This is a life I would not like to give up
unless for something huge
something so big enough for the mankind that I would rather pledge my life on
I don't know
I started fancy thinking about environmental studies
or reusable energy
somethign that'll cure the Earth perhaps
that would offer me the "meaning" I need
to justify my existence
Well, so after all that experience and so-called development
I'm still quenching for something more
but are we really something more than beings that struggle to survive
Oh my, oh my.
I'm confused.
Life. What is this all about afterall?
I've been appreciative of the past year
and yet the complacence of all I've been through have brought me to this realization -
yes I'm happy I'm progressing but is this the way where I want to go?

Or is there some other pursuit more essential to my life?

Or, I'm just pondering because I think I have a choice?