Kneeling for the first night

Inspired by Liz in Eat Pray Love,
I want to find a way to get myself out of my swirl of unresolved negative emotions, as I fidgeted the whole night for my period pain, headache and unease to start another week at work.
I started perhaps my very first night kneeling in silence
My forehead nailed to my bed
Hands stretched
I can hear the roughness of my breath as I breathed through my blocked nostrils
And my mind is both eager and reluctant to speak
There is only one voice there babbling,
Totally unsure of its agenda
I try to tackle my anger,
Why I get angry at people
Realizing that I blame them so that my frustration energy radiates
So it doesn't attack my heart and hurt me
But actually it still does
It's purely self-serving and every encounter had to translates into some "value" - now since when had it become this way?
As I sat through I feel my limbs warming up, tears welling and eventually,when I got up,the linen is all wet. It was all a mess, I know. I can't even see tangled line of thought,it was just a sense of being purely surrounded by a darkness so un pure. I still don't know where I am to go, but I pray to God to open my ees so I can see. Seeing the beauty of things, seeing potentials and the positive side of things,not strangling myself with pairs of handcuffs in every area of my life.
I hope it'll start today - or maybe tonight. I wonder What will I see in my dreams?